This Life of Nothingness
by Nice Huntress
Summary: M for suicide talk. He's finally had enough and wants this life of nothingness to be over...


**AN: Adam's Song by Blink182 inspired me to write this mini-fiction.**

**00000000000**

This Life of Nothingness 

He finished his untidy, haste note.

He hated this. This… life. This life of lies, deceit and prophecies. This life of war, hate and death. This life of nothingness, being controlled. He hated it.

His father had died to save him, his mother died to protect him. Cedric, simply being in the wrong place. Sirius, his friend, his Godfather, had died because of his stupidity. It was all his fault. This damned prophecy that ruled over _his_ life; that said he had to kill. But hadn't he already done that? All those deaths caused by him. All those families ruined, destroyed. By him.

He looked into the shattered pieces of the mirror; an example of his life, in pieces, never to fit together like it was when new. It would still show those cracks, irreversible damage. He wasn't thought of as a person. He was just a symbol of hope. A chess piece in the war. He wasn't ever just him, he was always this famous person, famous for something he hadn't done. Famous for his parent's deaths.

He had tried to find help in his friends. They didn't understand. They _couldn't_ understand. His line of reassurance gone.

He lifted a shard of the mirror from the floor where it had been placed back together precariously. His reflection glinted back at him, taunting him, daring him. It wouldn't matter though would it? Nobody would care. And if they did, they'd be sorry because their precious hero wouldn't be there to save them any more. He brought the sharp mirror piece down to his arm, pressing down hard as he dragged it across his blemish free skin. Red life seeped out of him. It felt… it was a relief. From the pain and hurt. He brought the shard down again, creating another thin line of relief. It wasn't enough, he needed more.

He would leave, alone, he laughed to himself. How ironic, he was a hero and like all hero's he would die alone. Then soon after, he would be forgotten. His few possessions would go to the few who stood by him. His room would be lost in the memories. Small reminders of him would fade away, like everything else in existence.

He closed his eyes, remembering times where he was happy, not truly happy but slightly. With his friends in the summer. It would all be left behind, the good times.

He brought the mirror down to his arm once more and relaxed. He savoured the feeling of the precious red liquid leaving him, just like everybody left him. He closed his eyes and slouched down to the floor, his energy abandoning him.

They'd be sorry he was gone. He heard what sounded like a faint scream as he slipped from consciousness and this life of nothingness.

**0000000000000000000**

**AN: I wrote this wondering if I would write a plot for it or not. I like it as a one off. It's depressing, yeah, but Adam's Song is depressing. It's not my best piece of work because I know that I'm not any good writing angst, but it's just a random fic, not much else. And I realise that the note and the scream are good pointers for carrying this on one day! I made it like that!**

**Okay okay, I NEED YOUR HELP! Right, I'm stuck writing a story for my School House Newspaper about a murder mystery. Must have in this murder mystery: The house 'mascot' (geez, we're an English school with house 'Mascots' and a 'Principle', we're English dammit! It's called the Headmaster!), a donkey; A bad guy called Dr Carrots or investigator called Inspector Carrots and I'm hoping to murder some teachers. So give me an idea? I have two weeks to plot and write it!  
Ah! forget that bit! Well, if you have ideas feel free to tell me but I probs am not going to do that now, I'll just do poems and stuff, yay... I'll give a lil poem of mine :D**

I Wish

I wish my heart  
I wish my mind  
I wish for things I cannot find  
Bless my heart and bless my soul  
Dig me deep and leave no hole.

I wish the land  
I wish the sea  
I wish for those that cannot be  
Bless all life and bless all time  
Leave me here and give a sign.

I wish for hope  
I wish for faith  
I wish for things that can't take place  
Bless all strength and bless all tears  
Grant me those unwilling ears.

I wish in song  
I wish in prayer  
I wish for those that know despair  
Bless all friends and bless all grace  
Don't give me doubt to show my face.

I wish my heart  
I wish my mind  
I wish for things I cannot find  
Bless my heart and bless my soul  
Dig me deep and leave no hole.

© Nikki Sayadi - 13 July 2004


End file.
